Many tactics of domestic violence often keep victims trapped in abusive relationships and can be misunderstood by loved ones.
Avalon Center Executive Director Rachel Bruning said Tennessee consistently ranks among the top 10 states in the nation for the rate of women killed by intimate partners. Bruning said the geographic size of rural areas like Cumberland County creates significant barriers to escaping abuse because survivors without vehicles struggle to access housing, jobs, and childcare.
“When that survivor makes the decision to leave, that control is no longer there,” Bruning said. “And we know the people who are choosing to utilize that control will do anything sometimes to get it back, include being lethal to that person.”
Bruning said financial abuse is another primary method of control that is present in 98 percent of domestic violence cases. This tactic often involves preventing a victim from working or taking their earned wages to ensure they cannot afford a rental deposit or the costs of establishing a new residence.
“We know isolation is one of the hallmark tactics that people who use power-based violence use against survivors,” Bruning said. “They want you to not be with your family, with your friends, supported at work, have a robust church family that is supportive of you. And so they really seek to destroy or mitigate those relationships and it can be really sneaky because for the survivor they’re going, ‘Oh this person, they want to just be with me, they want all my time,’ and it can almost feel like that’s how it’s supposed to go in a relationship. But really they’re just trying to pull you away from people who would be supportive of you and maybe look at you and go, ‘This is really not what should be happening in a relationship.'”
Bruning said community members should trust their instincts if they notice a partnership seems one-sided or unfair. She said those wishing to help should offer a listening ear without placing expectations or pressure on the victim to leave immediately.
“Being a person that is supportive of a survivor is really being a listening ear of non-judgment and going, ‘Oh I can help you figure out resources. I can help you figure out the plan,’ but allowing that survivor to drive the plan,” Bruning said.
Bruning said the organization operates a 24-hour crisis line to help survivors establish safety and explore their options. She said the agency provides education and shelter for those who decide to leave, helping them navigate the logistics of moving children and finding resources one step at a time.
“If you are a survivor needing support or information around experiencing domestic violence or sexual assault you can always reach out to the Avalon Center at 1-800-641-3434,” Bruning said. “That is our crisis line and it’s answered 24 hours a day.”
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
